It’s all too easy to get lost in what “should” be. To compare ourselves to the Pinterest Perfect version of someone else’s holiday. Events get bigger. Gifts get pricier. Everyone gets busier. All to come together around a table with our cell phones glued to us having to prove to the outside world that the holiday is so amazing.
With all this “connection”, we are more disconnected with ourselves and each other than ever before. We have lost the true meaning of what the holidays are about. We care more about what others perceive about us than what is truly going on with us.
Years ago when I became a mom I promised that I would give my daughter the most amazing holidays. I got caught up in it all. I bought ALL THE THINGS for her. Dressed her up in the cute holiday clothes. Went to the places and saw the people. Hosted holidays at my house too. Christmas day for me was non-negotiable - it had to be at my house. I was not going anywhere but everyone that would like to come to us. It was great so I didn’t have run around from place to place. But I had to manage who was coming, all the personalities, who was or was not getting along, who was bringing what, etc. I felt that I had to be the hostest with the mostest with food, drinks and gifts galore for everyone. Anyone that did not have a place at the holidays came to our house and we did it up right. It’s almost as if I had to prove my worth with how great I made the holiday for everyone else… but what about me?
Believe me, we had some amazing family holidays but man was it stressful and overwhelming more often than I would like to admit. I tried to be in the moment. I was successful at times. But I was most often thinking about what I needed to do or where I needed to go next. The true meaning of the holiday was not completely lost however it certainly took a back seat to all the other things. What I needed for that holiday took a back seat too.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we get so caught up in doing for others at the holidays that we lose sight of what is most important to us, for us?
It is time to take the holidays back and make them our own. It’s time to be more intentional with our energy during the holiday season so that we can truly enjoy them.
How do you desire to spend your holidays?
If you are looking for some inspiration to make some shifts around the holidays, check out High Vibe Holidays https://jillcoletti.com/page/high-vibe-holidays
And always remember, if you struggle around the holidays, you are NOT alone. Reach out to a friend or family member or me! I am here for you.
And if you are divorced and struggle with the shared holiday situation… I feel you. I talk about my journey through this here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YYof8saUMA
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