Pinterest Perfect Holidays

Pinterest Perfect Holidays
It’s all too easy to get lost in what “should” be.  To compare ourselves to the Pinterest Perfect version of someone else’s holiday. Events get bigger. Gifts get pricier. Everyone gets busier. All to come together around a table with our cell phones glued to us having to prove to the outside world that the holiday is so amazing.

With all this “connection”, we are more disconnected with ourselves and each other than ever before. We have lost the true meaning of what the holidays are about. We care more about what others perceive about us than what is truly going on with us.

Years ago when I became a mom I promised that I would give my daughter the most amazing holidays.  I got caught up in it all. I bought ALL THE THINGS for her. Dressed her up in the cute holiday clothes. Went to the places and saw the people. Hosted holidays at my house too. Christmas day for me was non-negotiable - it had to be at my house. I was not going anywhere but everyone that would like to come to us. It was great so I didn’t have run around from place to place.  But I had to manage who was coming, all the personalities, who was or was not getting along, who was bringing what, etc. I felt that I had to be the hostest with the mostest with food, drinks and gifts galore for everyone. Anyone that did not have a place at the holidays came to our house and we did it up right. It’s almost as if I had to prove my worth with how great I made the holiday for everyone else… but what about me?

Believe me, we had some amazing family holidays but man was it stressful and overwhelming more often than I would like to admit. I tried to be in the moment.  I was successful at times. But I was most often thinking about what I needed to do or where I needed to go next. The true meaning of the holiday was not completely lost however it certainly took a back seat to all the other things. What I needed for that holiday took a back seat too. 

Why do we do this to ourselves?  Why do we get so caught up in doing for others at the holidays that we lose sight of what is most important to us, for us?

It is time to take the holidays back and make them our own. It’s time to be more intentional with our energy during the holiday season so that we can truly enjoy them.

How do you desire to spend your holidays?

If you are looking for some inspiration to make some shifts around the holidays, check out High Vibe Holidays https://jillcoletti.com/page/high-vibe-holidays

And always remember, if you struggle around the holidays, you are NOT alone. Reach out to a friend or family member or me!  I am here for you.

And if you are divorced and struggle with the shared holiday situation… I feel you. I talk about my journey through this here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YYof8saUMA



Holiday memories from childhood

Holiday memories from childhood
My mom got up super early to get the turkey in the oven and get started on Great Nana’s famous dinner rolls. The rolls had to rise twice in order to be the best they could be.  It required a lot of patience. There was just something about them though. If they were rushed it was just not the same. My dad, brothers and I kept an eye out for the first batch of rolls coming out of the oven so we could taste test. Those were the days….

Food, family, the Macy’s parade and the Wizard of Oz was Thanksgiving to me. We would start eating from the time we got up until we went to bed. In the morning while prepping we would watch the parade. During dinner, I would sit at the table watching the food get passed around while stuffing my face with countless number of rolls and of course, piles of mashed potatoes. (It’s no wonder I go for the carbs for my comfort food.)

People were eating and connecting with each other.  This was back before cell phones so the world was a lot different. 

It was a simple time in life for me as a kid. Though, looking back now, I know how stressful it must have been for my mother. As I picture the table now I see at the very least 10-15 people from my youngest brother to my aunts, uncles, grandparents and great grandmother. The women usually helped set the table and bring out the sides and my dad cut the turkey. My great grandmother would be pouring herself some wine and then finding the sugar and adding some to it. Someone always had to keep an eye on her.

My great grandmother was there for her day out from the nursing home. I think she enjoyed getting out of there and spending time with us, though the Alzheimer’s was pretty bad at this point. She usually just sat at the table humming and sipping on her sweetened wine. Once in a while she would say something funny. Great Nana was entertainment for us sometimes. So innocent yet lots of work and patience for my mother and grandmother. Insert lots of patience again. 

Moms juggle a lot every day and especially around the holidays. Sometimes it’s more than they really need to do, but sometimes it’s just simply to bring joy to her family. I am grateful for these memories. I am grateful for the rolls, the parade watching, Great Nana’s humming… the joy I feel now when I think of these things.  I hope one day that my kiddos think back to their holidays with sweet joyful memories too. (If we can keep them off their phones enough to make them!)

What memories do you cherish from the holidays of your childhood? What memories are you creating for your family?

Oh and by the way, my brother told me years later that he found out that Great Nana's famous rolls were actually the recipe from the King Arthur flour bag. Famous but not from our family.  Do you have any "family" recipes you love?

I really enjoy sharing little snippets into my life and hope this inspires you. I’d love to have you join my free Facebook community so we can get to know each other more!  Join here: www.jillcoletti.com/community

Stop Shoulding & Shine

Stop Shoulding & Shine
School starts next week and there are all these things I should be doing.   But guess what?  I am putting them aside to do what lights me up.  

I should be organizing our home and work spaces, updating our schedules, ordering school supplies, buying school clothes, grocery shopping for all the snacks… there are so many things I “should” be doing.  But guess what?  All of the tasks will get done!  They are not going anywhere.

But what will bring you another step forward towards your goals and dreams?  Will these chores do that?  If so, then great.  In my world, these are not the things that will bring me closer to what I desire in my life.  

So today I write.  Tomorrow I go to the beach with my kids for one last hurrah!  And this weekend I spend time with a good book and a great friend at the beach on our annual (though it’s been a few years) girls weekend.  And in between I will get those chores done… but my life is not going to revolve around them.

My goals and dreams will not come to fruition if I do not fill up my cup first.  My goals depend on me.  Writing fills me up.   Quality time with my kids fills me up.   Girl time fills me up.  And can you tell that the beach fills me up?  Shoulding and shaming myself does NOT fill me up.

My priority to prepare me for the start of the school year is ME!  When I prioritize myself I am the best mom I can be and I am also teaching my kids to prioritize themselves.  Then they are their best selves and able to positively impact others.

Mama first, bring in the kiddos, impact the world.  It’s that simple!  
  
What is going to replace your list of “should” today?   Allow yourself to shine.

I dive a little more on why putting our "shoulds" aside will help not only us but our families here.



If you found this helpful I would love to have you jump on into my Facebook community of high vibe mamas who are learning to prioritize themselves to benefit their families.  

Here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/momsrewritingourstory


My kids were the catalyst...

My kids were the catalyst...
My kids are the reason I quit my corporate job three years ago and jumped into entrepreneurship.   I had a stable job with lots of benefits, had been working there over eleven years, and I knew that the life of an entrepreneur is far from financially stable. But there was something missing for me…

Even before my kids were born, I always wanted to be the kind of mom that helped them live an amazing life. I was going to do all I could to make sure they had an even better life than I did.  As their mom, I longed for them to have an inner peace and knowledge of who they are. My hope for my kids is that they follow their own path and do what fulfills them, what brings them joy each day.

I didn’t know how they were going to have that kind of life when I was living the opposite. I cared what everyone thought about me, I worried about pleasing everyone, I always put myself last, and I did not enjoy my work. I felt so guilty going to a job that I didn’t love and sending my kids to daycare. I was living in groundhog day and it was eating me up inside. 

All I could think about was that I did not desire for them to feel how I was feeling when they were my age.  

I read so many self-development books on happiness, on parenting, on how to change my life, on losing weight, on making friends, etc. I read and I dreamed. I dreamed of the life we could live, of the mom I could be, of the legacy I desired to leave my kiddos and then it hit me.

I must lead by example. How would they achieve their dream life if I was not going after mine? 

I started to put myself first. I started looking for things that made me happy. I started meditating, journaling and not only reading the self-development books but TAKING ACTION on the steps inside them.  

I started healing and diving into my spirituality and for the first time in at least my adult life I began to understand who I was.   

I owe it to my kids to take care of myself so that I can break the generational cycles so they do not get caught up in them.

And now I have made it my mission in life to help as many other moms live their best life for not only her children but also for her.  When we learn to put mom first then we can teach our children how to truly care for themselves too, disrupting generational patterns and lifting up the energy of this world.  

Oh, and boy and I grateful not to be in that cubicle anymore wishing my life away...

So let me ask you, are you going through the motions of your life, caught up in the minutiae of your day, in pleasing others, in being a great mom or wife or co-worker that you and have lost what truly lights you up?   

Do you desire a better life for your kiddos?

Your first step is to TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!!  Do one thing today that lights you up!!

Then jump on into my community so you can surround yourself with other inspiring, amazing & supportive mamas on a similar journey.  Here is the link: Mama Tribe

Let’s jump out of groundhog day and build inspiring legacies for & with our kiddos!  

Mama first, bring in the kids, change the world.

4 Reasons the Beach is My Place

4 Reasons the Beach is My Place
Do you have a place?   A place you feel so at peace that you never want to leave?  A place that grounds you like no other?  A place that brings a smile to your face when you think of it?  A place that you can so easily tap into when you are having a day?  A place you will go to when you just need a little “me” time?
 
That place for me is the Beach.
 
After a trip to the beach I feel calm, connected, creative.  There is just something about it for me.  No matter the season…  There may be less visits in the winter but as long as it’s not snowing I will drive the coast and if I am able to park I will totally stop and take in the ocean air.
 
Why the Beach?
 
#1 Relaxing Sounds
 
There is a reason ocean waves are on those noise machines people use to sleep at night.  I could literally sit all day with my feet in the sand listening to the crashing sounds of the waves as they reach the shore.  This sound is so calming to me.  Everything else gets tuned out…even those mothers yelling at their children to stop throwing sand at each other…  I often will record this to use to meditate to at home as it brings me right back to the place where I feel most relaxed.
 
#2  Grounding Energy
 
Putting your feet in the sand is truly a thing.  Whether it is the warmth of the fine sand surrounding the bottoms of your feet or the cooler more firm sand as you walk closer to the water.  The sand has an astounding way of quickly connecting us with the earth and the energy around us.
 
Oh and let’s not forget about the Sun… feeling the warmth as it shines down on me.  I love how it feels… there is something about it’s energy.  And of course a little vitamin D never hurts!
 
#3  The Memories
 
I grew up & also currently live only about an hour or so from the ocean.  (the mountains are not far either… I am so lucky!)  Though it was so close, we had a pool and we had family with a lake house so ocean beach trips were super special.  We would spend the whole day riding the waves, building sand castles, eating fruit and burying ourselves in the sand.  It was not about the grounding energy or relaxation, it was about the FUN!  And as I get older I love the beach more and more.
 
I am so grateful now that my kiddos love the beach just as much as I do.  It’s the one thing my kiddos will get up early for without any complaints!  We get up bright & early, get our bathing suits on, pack up and go “road trippin” as my son will say.   We get there early for a good spot and will spend as much time as possible there.  So many amazing memories for us from searching for seashells, to climbing the rocks to finding crabs and other creatures.  They even get me in the frigid water body surfing… it’s like I am a kid again.
 
My hope is that they will fondly remember the beach from their childhood and continue to love it with their kids and grandkids!
 
#4  Healing Vibes
 
Salt Water, Salty Air, the waves, the grounding energy, the relaxation, quality time with my kids living in the moment, and even time for myself reading and writing.   The beach is a form of self care and healing for me.  From the natural elements that help our body to the connection with myself, my kids & all of the nature around us to the disconnection from technology the beach is healing for my mind, body & soul.
 
 
What is your place?
 
I would not be surprised if you say the beach too… I tend to attract other beach loving people too.  There is an energy connecting us…
 
 
Looking to connect with like-minded high vibe mamas like yourself?  Join my community https://www.facebook.com/groups/momsrewritingourstory

 
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