Healing through Writing

What is Diary of a High Vibin' Mama? And why am I writing it?

Dear Diary, it's me Jill.  There is just something about writing. The energy of it. The expression. The release. The accountability. The Realness. When I write, something shifts. Not sure if it's my energy or the energy around me, but there is a shift. Mostly in a good way. Sometimes it may feel not so good, but that is due to some processing normally that is needed.

When I write, I feel. When I feel, I heal. There are definitely many tools that I use to help myself feel and heal, writing is one of them. And it's one that I have put on the back burner for a bit and I am ready to use it more again. It's time to put pen to paper, fingers to the keyboard and express myself through words.

Diary of a High Vibin' mama is just that, me putting the words out there. It's time to put the energy of writing out into the world. For me, myself and I. For my feeling and healing. I am looking for ways to raise my frequency and writing is speaking to me as a way to do so at this time. And I figure why not share it with you in hopes that it may help you too.

Through the years, I have journaled, blogged and even written in a few books. Writing has been a tool for me to process my emotions during some of the best and worst times of my life. Sometimes the writing has been about a specific topic and other times just free writing, letting the universe speak through me. I just finished The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron where she introduced me to "morning pages" which has been part of my inspiration to write again. Morning pages are a free write every morning for atleast 3 pages or 10 minutes. Some days I literally would write "I have nothing to write about" over and over. Other days I felt like I was writing the intro to my manuscript that I will one day publish. 

It's taken me so long to realize that every time I decide to put something out into the world, I do it for everyone else. To help them. Even if it helps me too, I end up getting lost in it and burnt out. Do not get me wrong, I will always help others but truly the best way for me to help others is to continue to focus on myself first. So the focus of this diary is me, myself and I. I am writing to myself to lift my vibe and show myself love. 

The what is expression of my self-love journey. The why is to find deeper self-love and higher vibes. 

Dear Diary,

This morning I was feeling so frustrated. Frustrated with myself and where I am at currently. I thought I would be so much further along with goals I have for work, home, finances, love life and more. It's been an emotional morning. Fun Fun

And then I saw this term "messy middle". A lightbulb went off. That is where I am.... I am not where I was and I am not where I desire to be. I am in the middle.... and it's definitely super messy. This in-between space can feel frustrating and today I was fully in my feels. Thankfully, I took a break, met with a friend then on the drive home I reflected.

Can I fully embrace and actually love all the messiness of the middle?

In reflection, what would we do without the messy middle? The messy middle is where most of the learning and transformation take place. It’s a time of trial, error, and unexpected victories. A time to realize that each step, no matter how small, is progress. And progress is worth celebrating.

I am going to celebrate more. Celebrate not just the end goal but also the small wins along the way. Each small win is a stepping stone and when I take the time to appreciate it I am fueling it. Like attracts like. I am going to put happy dance energy out there so I do more happy dances! And I can be a positive example for those around me too!

Not only am I going to celebrate more but I am going to learn to love more too!  The middle is messy because it's often filled with lessons learned from setbacks or mistakes. And man have there been alot.... Instead of viewing these as failures, I will see them as opportunities to grow. And grow alot.... I love the lessons, the setbacks, the mistakes.

The journey is just as important as the destination. I embrace the present moment and I am mindful of where I am right now. 

Connecting in community is a huge part of my healing and I will embrace this more. Often, just talking about the messiness with someone who understands can bring light to the path ahead. I am always here for others and never judge their "messiness" so why do I hesitate to share mine with others? I am going to do my best not to hold back. I vow to share my messy middle with my community in the hopes that my vulnerability will help others. 

As I navigate through the messy middle, I will continue to keep my dreams in site. I will journal, visualize and reflect. I will remain inspired. Life is a journey and a practice. I will remember that this space is where real growth happens. I will embrace it with open arms, knowing that every step is bringing me closer to my desired future. It's messy, it's real, and it's mine. 

Celebrate the journey Jill, find the joy and watch as your path unfolds beautifully, one step at a time. 

And to you, if you are still reading this, I hope this inspires you to embrace, learn from and celebrate your messy middle!!  Keep nurturing those dreams and keep shining bright through every phase of your journey!