Easter with Myself

Easter with Myself
Five or six years ago I would not have foreseen the contentment and happiness I feel in this moment on Easter as I sit here alone with no kids.  For so long I lived for these days that I could shower my kids with gives and celebrate the holiday with them.  
 
When I first got divorced I was devastated at the thought of not spending every moment with them.  The mere thought of being alone on a holiday had me so anxious.  I felt lost without them.  I identified so much with being their mom and providing fun, memorable holidays.  I didn’t feel worthy unless I was doing something for them.  I felt lost, sad, incomplete….  It wasn’t just a day to me back then, even though it’s truly just a day…
 
Now, fast forward, I enjoy the day of the holiday if I have the kids with me or not, if I spend time with others or not. I am completely content spending the day with myself.  In fact, I am blessed.  I am amazing company.
 
The day of the holiday is truly just a day.  We still celebrate just a little differently than in years past and that is OK.  In fact, it’s more than ok.  We are more intentional with our time and energy around the holiday and do what works best for us, not what conforms to what others think we should do.
 
This Easter we did an egg hunt the day before and then woke up this morning and did our baskets.  I then dropped them at their dad’s house and I went to the beach alone and it’s been amazing.
 
We made some awesome memories and it was a great reminder that my worth and my relationship with my kids does not depend on the picture perfect holiday we have.  (because that picture perfect holiday does not exist… it is a façade)   The best holiday for us is the one that fits our lifestyle and helps us to connect and feel amazing.
 
The more I love me, the better every holiday is and truly the better every day is!
 
This mindset took years of healing, lots of repeating affirmations to myself, reminders of how worthy I am even when I don’t feel it, lots of work and it’s been so worth all of the work to get here to this place of peace.
 
Are you thinking “How I the world does she feel this content being alone on the holiday?”  or  “The holidays are so overwhelming… how can I find peace like this?”  
 
I am here to help you!   
 
Check out my course “High Vibe Holidays” and start taking control of your holidays to find more peace.     https://jillcoletti.com/page/high-vibe-holidays


Something is wrong with me....

  • Oct 23, 2020 03:51 PM Central
  • Jill Coletti
  • 0 Comments
Something is wrong with me....

That’s what I thought for so long. For years people would tell me I am too emotional, that I cry too much. And you know what? It made me feel that something was wrong with me. I am too emotional, too sensitive, not strong enough, so weird. I cry at every movie that even remotely shows something tough for a child or an animal. I get overwhelmed when I am around certain people and sometimes also when in crowds. The news completely depresses me. I feel all sorts of feelings and I don’t even know why. What is wrong with me?!?

 

Have you felt this way too?

 

Well, let me tell you something… there is NOTHING wrong with YOU!!!! You are amazing just as you are. One word may be able to explain all of this … EMPATH. 

 

Empath is defined by Cambridge Dictionary as “a person who has an unusually strong ability to feel other people’s emotional or mental states”. It comes from the word empathy which is when you understand and can identify with other people’s experiences, thoughts and feelings. Having empathy for someone is such an amazing way to connect and support them. It helps you to understand where they are coming from without taking the experiences or feelings on yourself.

 

Being an Empath actually takes things a little further where they feels others experiences and emotions and actually take them on as their own. If you are an Empath and you witness someone’s joy or pain, their joy or pain becomes your joy or pain.

 

When I learned what an Empath was a lightbulb went off. That was describing me!! Maybe something is not wrong with me? Maybe this is a good thing? ….

 

And you know what?! It is!!!!  It’s amazing now that I know what an Empath is and can take the steps to protect my energy so outside energies do not overwhelm me!  

 

Empaths are Healers. Nurturers. Amazing Mamas. Sensitive Creative Souls.

 

Are YOU an Empath?

 

First things first, ask yourself, are those experiences and feelings (positive or lower vibe) you feel really yours? Can you relate those feelings to something that is related to your personal experience? Or someone or something else’s? Are those feelings you are feeling backed by something that happened OR is it coming out of what seems like nowhere?

 

If they are truly your feelings then you may not actually be an Empath but just going through a very emotional time. 

 

If those feelings are definitely not yours then you most likely are an Empath.

 

Here are 9 signs that you are an Empath:

 

1. You are highly sensitive & attuned to others emotions and tend to take them on as your own (good & bad). You often listen to people’s energy not their words. 

2. You are naturally giving, understanding and a great listener. You “get” people. People always come to you for advice.  Huge Heart. You feel drawn to help everyone and can give “too much” at times.

3. You get overwhelmed in crowds or by certain spaces or energies. The vibe of a room matters.

4. You are drained by negative people that you may feel physically exhausted. 

5. You are highly intuitive and your “gut” is really accurate. You may even feel things before they happen.

6. You are a target for energy vampires. You have a hard time setting boundaries.

7. You are drawn to nature. Nature nourishes & restores your energy. The weather effects your mood. 

8. You have highly attuned senses (too much noise, smells…) 

9. Seeing tragic events on TV or social media can stop you in your tracks.

 

To learn more about what it’s like to be an Empath, how to harness this amazing gift and protect your energy, join me in myFacebook community and check out the “Life as an Empath” series in the units section!

 

I shared a little bit about this also one of my #WellnessWednesday, check it out!


My hats don't fit!

My hats don't fit!
A wife.  A mom.  A girl scout leader.  A soccer board member.  A school volunteer. A sister. A corporate employee.  A dog love. A daughter. A friend. A chauffeur. An oil enthusiast…..
 
I wore ALL these titles, and more, sometimes many of them all at one time. If you are a working mom, I know you can relate. I was so busy 24/7 being “someone” to everyone else that I had forgotten how to just be me. I was living in “groundhog day”, exhausted, lost and left searching for who I was.
 
It took me two years, a lot of coaching and deep exploration into spiritual practices to find my way out of that maze of lost identity. But I did.
 
Today, I am a proud spiritual mama of two absolutely amazing kids, Ella, 11 and Joseph, 6. I am also still a soccer board member, a volunteer, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a chauffeur……
 
I did however realize that two of the hats I was wearing no longer fit me – that of wife and corporate employee.
 
Letting go of those hats, was absolutely terrifying,  I didn’t know how it would feel without them.  Yet it was exciting, freeing and empowering at the same time.  
 
Being a wife and working in the corporate world were stories that I had set for myself at a young age and I was afraid of the unknowns of what life would be like without them.   I set those standards for myself before truly knowing who I was, what I desired out of life and if those roles truly fit.  I just always felt they were something I “should” do because I thought I would be good at it. 
 
When I let go of the idea of being a wife I realized what I was longing for was not the actual title but rather the love and connection that comes with such a relationship.  And just because I had that title didn’t mean I would feel the love or the connection.  In fact, I didn’t feel the love or connection anymore.  It was time to move on.  It was time to find that love and connection inside me! I do not need someone else to find it.
 
It has taken a long time to let go of those stories.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I was in love when I got married and am grateful for our life together.  My marriage as well as my job both served me well and I have absolutely no regrets. Life however has taking me in a different direction.  
 
Still to this day the stories pop up from time to time as I peel away another layer of healing.  I have moments of nostalgia when I think “what would life had been like if…”  BUT I know those are just stories and I am where I am meant to be, wearing the hats that fit me.
 
 
What today looks like and how I am EVOLVING. 
 
I work for myself and I LOVE it. The freedom to fill my day as I desire. One of the biggest advantages of working from home is that I am able to adjust my schedule so that I can be very involved in my children’s lives and activities. 
 
As I learned to free up energy, I discovered several new things about ME…
 
I love of photography. I truly enjoy how it feels to capture a moment in time and share it with others.  Life has been so busy and my arms so full with kids and their things that I mostly use my Iphone for pics these days but it’s time to put the phone away, take the “real” camera out again and get out there again.  Photography connects me with my creative side, helps me to be in the moment and gets me looking at life from all different perspectives.
 
I am an avid reader who still prefers to feel that paper book in my hands, though I do sometimes use a kindle or listen to a book through Audible.  I have always loved to read but I have definitely taken it up a notch.  In 2019 I read over a book a week ending at 56 books for the year!
 
I enjoy podcasts, with some of my favorites being Ambitchious with Katie Boyd, Love Rebel with LeAnn Vogel, The Goal Digger with Jenna Kutcher and With Love Danielle with Danielle LaPorte to name just a few.  Self development, Spirituality and business are some of my favorite topics.   I have also enjoyed sharing a little about me on a few podcasts.  Check out the fun I had on the Ambitchious Podcast! 
 
I have started to write. How therapeutic it is! It started with journaling as part of my healing process, but has grown into sharing tips, meanings and experiences about Reiki, crystals, card decks and essential oils. Check out more of my blog and share in my journey!
 
I feel grounded with essential oils. My Young Living Essential oils and wellness line have replaced just about every product in my home with what you would normally buy at a pharmacy.  Though I still venture to Target from time to time, it is mostly just for kids snacks, TP, paper towels and of course all the millions of last minute things that I pick up along the way.  Haha…. Not sure the last time I spent less than $100 there. 
 
I am dreaming again. One day I will own a beach house! The ocean is one of my favorite places to be I feel so grounded yet free there.  All my worries disappear at the first sniff of the salt air and step in the sand.  I am fortunate to be close to the New Hampshire coastline, so I can go to the beach often – and even on a whim!  And my kids love it too so that is a bonus!  My second favorite retreat is the beautiful mountains that are a short drive in the other direction.  Both places are great for meditation which is now a favorite stress reliever and an integral part of ME.  
 
Let’s stay connected and Evolve together! 

 
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