Breaking free, Finding joy

Why did I leave a stable, decent paying career in corporate finance to pursue spiritual entrepreneurship?  Talk about a 180.  Am I crazy?  Well maybe a little…. Here’s a little story to help you understand.

It was Groundhog Day. 

I would wake up, get dressed, get the kids ready, leave to drop them off at daycare then work 8-10 hours without even taking lunch excited to get home to see my kiddos again, then I leave, pick up the kids, do dinner, baths then get them to bed and most nights were filled with chores or more work then crash on the couch. 

I would wake up everyday wishing I had a different life but I didn’t even have the guts to admit it out loud.  I knew it was not in the cards for me.  I didn’t even try to talk to my husband about my desires because I felt he would not believe in them.  He had supported me for years with different side business endeavors and weight loss challenges but I felt like I had failed so many times, he definitely lost faith in me. I lost faith in myself. 

I desired happiness and dreamed of living a free and inspired life but I could not get out of my own way to make it happen.  I was reading all of the self-help (or should we call it “shelf-help”) books.  I was journaling about how amazing I would feel when I lost weight, had my dream job, an amazing relationship with my husband and did not have to leave my kids with someone else all day. 

But it was a distant dream, and while I could envision what it might look like, I struggled to really feel that I could achieve it. Oh and there was the small fact that I was taking NO action to make it happen.  

I was a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a corporate employee… I identified only with the roles that I played in my life. I didn’t even know who I truly was.  I was living everyone else’s life…. Life was happening to me not for me. I was so drained at the end of the day that I was not even spending any quality time with my kids or my husband, nevermind exercise or self-care.  I could tell my marriage was ending but I was trying to force it to work with any energy I had left… which was not a lot.  

As my marriage ended, I was not sure what to do with myself.  Divorce is tough… I knew in my mind it was the right move but my heart was not so sure.  After the divorce I had all this time on my hands.  The kids were with their dad half the time so I thought I would work alot and catch up on chores while they were with him and then I would be able to spend so much quality time with them when they were with me.  But that didn’t happen… I still felt so spent.  

Mom guilt sets in.

I felt massive mom guilt doing anything for myself even when they were with their dad.  I missed them so much.  I was overwhelmed, stressed and unorganized.  I felt stuck, incomplete, out of balance and afraid.  Afraid that I was losing them or messing them up.  Afraid that I would never know what I was doing.  My kids were not getting the mama they deserved.  I was not living the life I deserved (although, not sure I believed I deserved it when this journey started… self-worth has been a struggle). 

I had the epiphany that it was crucial for me to figure out who I am, what I desire and where my life is going.  It was time to work on me!!

Enter my coach.

I went to my coach looking for help with nutrition, exercise & stress reduction.  I felt so disappointed and ashamed that I had gained all this weight over the years and was not able to lose it.  I thought, if only I could get a handle on my weight, I would feel so much better about myself and things would fall into place.  I was looking for one thing but I found something so much more important, ME!

The help I needed was not how to lose weight, parent better or get “all the things” done.  The help I needed was to rediscover who I was and light my fire again.  And to accomplish this was to connect with my spirituality, not my ego.

Over the last several years I have had many one-on-one coaching as well as Reiki and other healing sessions.  I have developed non-negotiable spiritual practices and rituals that help me connect with myself daily.  I have connected not only with myself but with a tribe of amazing women that lift each other up.  I learned to trust myself again and follow my intuition.   

What today looks like.

I have moved to a new home, left my full-time corporate job, attuned as a Reiki master teacher, and developed a successful co-parenting relationship with my ex-husband. But most important to me is that my relationship with my children is thriving and I feel more love for myself than I ever have before.  

Rather than feeling overwhelmed with stress, I feel free, aligned, inspired, and full of an abundance of love and joy.  And I AM the example that I had always desired to be for my children.

This journey is ongoing.  I am always rediscovering new parts of myself and unlayering pieces I never knew existed and my kids are witnessing this evolution.  My hope is that they see my example and choose to love themselves first and be open to all that life has to offer.  I am excited for my future and my kids’ future.  

My mission is to help women the way I was helped. To guide as many mamas as I can to rediscover themselves and in turn teach their children how to live a joyful, aligned life.  The families I help will help others, creating a ripple effect to lift up the energetic vibration of the world.  

I am a heart-centered spiritual mama spreading love and I am excited to see where this journey takes me.

Where will your journey take you?

Who are you destined to be?

Let’s take that journey together. Jump on into my community.  It's time Spiritual Mamas Unite!  

Click here and check out my YouTube video about my escape from groundhog day and some of the daily rituals that helped me...


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